I will admit, when I first started this I had no idea what to expect and honestly I think that made my entire experience so much more enjoyable. These characters go through it, all of them, and it was brilliant going through it with them. The ending, especially? I absolutely adore how Christianity is woven into this. The church has their values all wrong, and they really don’t know their own book as well as they think, cos there was never anything to say being gay or trans is a sin. Because if God made us in His image, surely our attraction and our gender is part of it. The pacing is really well done, and when you’re nearing the last few chapters and it’s just one thing after another after another and it is intense, I love it. This was honestly one of the most unique narrative voices I’ve read in a while. The way it blends fiction with reality and the transitions between the hypnosis and falling into that sort of dream-like state is so immersive and just so brilliantly done overall. There’s also that sense of confusion and that loss and… overwhelm that comes from seeing the world from Brio’s eyes — he feels as though everyone is out to get him, and he feels completely alone in this and that comes across so so well. I was not expecting to get as invested in the Hoggit story as I did. I found the characters really unique while also relating their characteristics to the main protagonists and the main story. Though, I don’t know if I just missed it but I feel like the ending to that story isn’t really clear. I like the flow that happens between the two, where it’s not a stark contrast and it feels really natural. The characters from both worlds were really lovely and you can sympathise with them even when they weren’t at their best. Brio’s relationship with Logie was without a doubt my favourite part of the book. I don’t love how he lied about his mum but I can kind of see why he did? And I do love that at the end he realises how utterly he fucked up. On the trans and queer representation I will admit it was a bit hard to read at first, all the deadnaming and the transphobia. However I feel like it didn’t take from my experience reading the book. From the beginning we have a clear sense of what Brio’s beliefs are and that reflects a lot on how he views people (and therefore how we view them, as well). I think it was a very bold choice and not a bad one at all. I felt seen a lot throughout this book. Especially when it comes to Brio’s reactions to the world around him — he feels completely and utterly alone; his dad isn’t around, his mum’s died and the one person he thought he could trust, Izzy, has seemingly turned on him. So, he lashes out and he hasn’t got a sense of trust on anything and I feel like you’ve really portrayed that necessity for control really well. He needs something that can ground him, and we see he finds that in his writing. We also see that shift in trust multiple times — he thinks he’ll be safer with whichever person will lead him to his dad, and this is such a natural and human thing, isn’t it? Brio’s internalised queerphobia is portrayed so well. The utter denial that Brio feels that he’s not gay and he’s not trans and that he’s “fucking normal”. SO GOOD! And when he starts to doubt that it really ties into his shutdowns and his suicide ideation and it’s so well done. Sometimes people use transness and queerness in a way that a plot twist can feel a bit transphobic, especially in the case of portraying trans people as villains but you did the exact opposite and I’m so happy with it.
